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Soon your newborn will be tested for APGAR and gang affiliation Soon your newborn will be tested for APGAR and gang affiliation

What shape is your butt? What shape is your butt?

Cue Yakety Sax Cue Yakety Sax

Yes, gentlemen, the reason no one else is wandering around Florida swamps fighting off crocodiles and...Yes, gentlemen, the reason no one else is wandering around Florida swamps fighting off crocodiles and...

Florida prosecutor insists that he dropped assault charges against Trump's campaign manager based...Florida prosecutor insists that he dropped assault charges against Trump's campaign manager based...

Want to work at Ken Ham's Noah's Ark Park? Well, A) What the fark is wrong with you, and B) You've got to...Want to work at Ken Ham's Noah's Ark Park? Well, A) What the fark is wrong with you, and B) You've got to...

Giant sinkhole opens up in front yard of Des Moines, Iowa home. Make sense that hell would be underneath Iowa Giant sinkhole opens up in front yard of Des Moines, Iowa home. Make sense that hell would be underneath Iowa

Many large U.S. corporations paid zero federal income taxes. Next up - the revelation that all they care...Many large U.S. corporations paid zero federal income taxes. Next up - the revelation that all they care...

"It is an insult to octopuses to continually compare them to humans" "It is an insult to octopuses to continually compare them to humans"

Czech policeman goes to the top of the leaderboard for "Most parked cars hit while driving drunk" Czech policeman goes to the top of the leaderboard for "Most parked cars hit while driving drunk"

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Owl trained to deliver wedding rings crashes headfirst into church window. That's what Harry Potter gets...Owl trained to deliver wedding rings crashes headfirst into church window. That's what Harry Potter gets...

So what would happen if we just started paying poor people for being poor? You know, made it their actual...So what would happen if we just started paying poor people for being poor? You know, made it their actual...

'Sodomite slayer' pastor claims God will make flames shoot out of gay men's buttholes 'Sodomite slayer' pastor claims God will make flames shoot out of gay men's buttholes

Christians "tip" waitress with Bible passage calling for her death. You know, just like Jesus...Christians "tip" waitress with Bible passage calling for her death. You know, just like Jesus...

Fark Store Daily Deal: Cyber Security Hacker Training. My voice is my passport. Verify me. (Sponsored Link) Fark Store Daily Deal: Cyber Security Hacker Training. My voice is my passport. Verify me. (Sponsored Link)

"My husband said, 'look, we've got a visitor' and there he was walking into the house through the..."My husband said, 'look, we've got a visitor' and there he was walking into the house through the...

The Donald Trump of newspapers endorses the New York Post of candidates The Donald Trump of newspapers endorses the New York Post of candidates

Photoshop this dog day afternoon Photoshop this dog day afternoon

Chicago Alderman says leave urban coyotes alone, let them take care of the rats Chicago Alderman says leave urban coyotes alone, let them take care of the rats

'Napalm Girl' was haunted by the image of herself and the Vietnam War for years, but now embraces it 'Napalm Girl' was haunted by the image of herself and the Vietnam War for years, but now embraces it

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Quickies

News & Magazines

salon: Dont assume black voters are with her: Contempt for Trump doesnt mean we love Hillary

morning news: The Assets of Trump and Their Mysterious Origins

good magazine: Here’s What Scientists Have To Say About The All-Important 5-Second Rule

findingdulcinea: On This Day: Ford Model T Unveiled

yahoo upshot: Future of Calif. horse racing at risk as Hollywood Park nears finish line

google spotlight: Peaky Blinders season 4: What happens next - and is Grace definitely dead? - The Week UK

new yorker: Donald Trumps Cuba Hypocrisy

observer: A Duet of Dramatic Docs on Women Artists at NYFF: Tears, Cheers & Allen Ginsberg Nude

slate: Amicus: 2016 Term Preview

time: Kentucky Day Care Under Scrutiny for Smack for a Snack Game

pbs newshour: Saving treasured art after Italys major earthquake

upi: Deadly car bomb goes off near Somali prison

life: Holocaust Survivor Experiences Her Own Rescue in Virtual Reality

groundreport: Eventually the Conservative Elite Will Have to Stand Up to Trump

npr: BP Investors' Fears Grow They Could Lose Dividend

blog herald: These Are The Biggest Business Blogging Mistakes You Might Be Making

Politics

nytimes politics: Report That Donald Trump Did Business in Cuba Ups the Ante in Florida

white house: Weekly Address: Its Time to Give Families Access to Paid Sick Leave

tpm: Trump Pressured Second Wife to Pose Nude for Playboy

daily kos: This week at progressive state blogs: MT Sup. Ct. candidate has sex on the brain; Trump disrespects

wonkette: Enjoy Your Global-Warming-Delayed Autumn With Delicious Southern Tomato Pie!

fivethirtyeight: The White House Is Not a Metronome

realclearp.: The Lincoln-Douglas Solution

new republic: The Loud Rise and Quiet Fall of Roy Moore

Business & Finance

wsj: Europe Needs Its Realist Past

forbes: Ben Simmons' Devastating Foot Injury Means The NBA's Rookie Of The Year Award Is Now Up For Grabs

walletpop: Colorado is tightening restrictions on marijuana edibles

businessinsider: These beautiful headphones from Denmark let you change all the parts even the speakers

thestreet: Hershey Rejects $23 Billion Acquisition Offer From Mondelez

freakonomics: The Harvard President Will See You Now

harvard business: Everyones Network Should Provide Two Things

fast company: Why Spotify Should Totally Buy SoundCloud

seekingalpha: Barron's: Malone/Maffei outdo Buffett

Tech

techcrunch: Check out this epic, expertly executed $77k Indiegogo backer troll

readwriteweb: How autonomous vehicles could lead to more jobs in Detroit

oreilly radar: Four short links: 30 September 2016

tnw: Automate repetitive tasks on your Mac with this award-winning app (44% off)

alley insider: THE CONNECTED CAR REPORT: Forecasts, competing technologies, and leading manufacturers

arstechnica: Man, located after he left phone at robbery, now pleads guilty to kidnapping

wininsider: Get Ready for Windows 7 'Release Candidate'

nytimes bits: Daily Report: A Net Neutrality Setback for Facebook in India

techmeme: What to expect at Google's Oct. 4 event: two new flagship devices without Nexus branding, more details...

recode: Full transcript: Eaze CEO Keith McCarty talks marijuana apps on Too Embarrassed to Ask

inquisitr: Joe Jonas Reveals Why Its Sexier To Kiss Behind Closed Doors

mashable: The first men to fly over Mount Everest did so in an unpressurized biplane

macrumors: Tim Cook Tells Utah Tech Audience: Encryption 'Makes the Public Safe'

intomobile: Two Companies Apple Should Acquire: Evernote and VMware

techradar: Here is the 'cloud OS' that Microsoft built to run on your servers

Offbeat

theawl: New York City, September 29, 2016

oddee: 9 Creepy Cases of Clown Hysteria

time feed: Solange Knowles Says Her New Album Pays Tribute to Her Parents

cracked: Eerily Specific Similarities Between Trump And Our Enemies

laughingsquid: Curt Smith and Jamie Wollam Perform Everybody Wants to Rule the World Live at Ted Yoders House

newslite: Sloth drops from tree into speed boat (VIDEO)

failblog: This Guy's Pizza Hut's 'Grilled Cheese Stuffed Crust' Rant is Exactly What You Needed to Hear Before You...

perezhilton: Hugh Hefner Hits Back At Alleged Health Problems With Humor: 'I Wish The Tabloids Had Informed Me A Little...

hotair: Video: Gingrich and Hannity stage an intervention with Trump over Alicia Machado

urlesque: How to Grow from Your Regrets

daily beast: Bill Maher Rips Trumps Debate Fail

stupidvideos: Goodbye For Now, Everyone

collegehumor: Wait: Is This Video BRANDED?!

google sights.: Undiscovered Hawaii: Lanai, Kahoolawe, and Niihau

urbandictionary: comfort cartoon

atlantic wire: How Brock Turner Changed California's Rape Laws

icanhascheezburger: Animals With Similar Fur Patterns Pose With Their "Twins"

Science

national geo.: A Meteor Shower and 8 More Cant-Miss Sky Events in October

brainpickings: A Cry of Gratitude: Baudelaires Beautiful Letter of Appreciation to Wagner

discover: Living and Dying With a Comet

pop mechanics: 10 Surprising Facts About American Muscle Cars

instructables: How to Build a Premium Sous Vide Cooker

eduwonk: Teacher Shortage Shenanigans, The Boss & School, Juvenile Justice, Jane Pauley, West On Driverless...

howstuffworks: The Most Embarrassing Moments in the History of Science

sci. american: 2 Years to Ploughshare Tortoise Extinction?

mentalfloss: Most Distinctive Last Names by State

io9: The Creators ofDaredevilWill Mastermind His Team-Up With TheDefenders

guardian science: Sharks fascinate us - but are we prepared to protect them from extinction?

5min.com: Mark Zuckerberg Hacked | Crunch Report

sciencedaily: Co2 record at mauna loa, the music video: The sounds of climate change

fastcolabs: Why Spotify Should Totally Buy SoundCloud

popsci: Bees Show Optimism After A Dopamine-Boosting Sweet Treat

wired science: Westworld Isnt Great Science Fiction, But Its Great Television

Green

treehugger: Put a tiny garden in your house with Wall Farm

worldchanging: The New Worldchanging Is Coming

ecosalon: Your New Quick and Easy Morning Beauty Routine

env. leader: UK Commits Itself to Nuclear in the Name of a Carbon-free Future. Will Other Countries Follow?

grist: Why Uber wont fuel more sprawl

inhabitat: Adidas reveals first shoe made almost completely by robots

mnn: World's deepest underwater cave still has no bottom

Gadgets

engadget: New York Public Library has a mini roller coaster for books

uncrate: 1955 Porsche 356 'Pre-A' 1600 Speedster

gizmodo: Toy Commercial ShowsRogue OneShoretroopers in Action

mobilecrunch: Heres how you can stop jumping back and forth between Googles calendar and map apps

cooltools: Plastic Razor Blades

unplggd: Make It Work: Unique Ways to Make Tile Kitchen Countertops Look Totally Tasty

polygon: Capcom rolls out tool for botched up update that broke Street Fighter 5 on PC

notcot: Piggyback Driver helmet by PARTY NY. Kids drive...

springwise: Immersive dream adventures for hospitalized children

consumerist: Oregon Department Of Justice Announces Investigation Of Coolest

joystiq: New York Public Library has a mini roller coaster for books

crunchgear: Nintendo shows off some highly nerdy features of the NES Mini

kotaku: Here's How To Get Started Watching TheLeague of LegendsWorld Championships

ohgizmo: Deal Of The Day: 73% Off On Layze Flexible Universal Car Mount

huffpost food: The Pastis Fairytale Islands

Design

psfk: Messaging Add-On Helps You Correct Your Friends’ Bad Grammar

designobserver: Adam Harrison Levy: Vulgar Lives

smashingmagazine: Desktop Wallpaper Calendars: October 2016

designspotter: ORGATEC 2016 - New visions of work #orgatec

core77: The Fascinating World of Japanese Videogame Arcades

coudal: Medicinal Alcohol

flavorwire: The Shockmeisters of Genre Cinema

weburbanist: Reading Coaster: NYC Public Library Installs Tiny Book Delivery Trains

wmmna: Links for 2016-09-29 [del.icio.us]

archdaily: Nature-Inspired Design Named Winner of Sylvan Theatre Competition

thefwa: Resn

Work & Life

dumblittleman: How To Find A Dose Of Clarity In Your Life

productivity501: The Future of Work Part I

unclutterer: Why computer backups matter

nytimes health: News Analysis: The Shame of Fat Shaming

zenhabits: Kickstarter Bonus: Dealing with Struggles Video Course

well: The Art of Condolence

fitsugar: The 1 Change This Woman Made to Drop Those Last 10 Pounds

cntraveler: 10 Places to Visit Before They're Lost to Climate Change

Women

glamour: Cara Delevingne Just Got Her Boldest Tattoo Yet

ladylux: Family Vacation: The Best of Chicago

blogher: Where to Eat at #BlogHerFood16 in Austin, According to Locals

gofugyourself: Royally Played: Wills and Kate (in Smythe) Visit Canada, Day Seven

jezebel: Trump Appeared in a 2000 Softcore Porn Video Featuring Women Rubbing Honey on Themselves

Men

artofmanliness: Introducing the Art of Manliness Dispatch: Follow AoM on Your Favorite Messaging App

gm gadgets: Renovo Coupe The Disrupting Electric Supercar

mens health: The 3-Move Workout That Burns Fat and Builds Your Upper Body

gq: Here's What Hillary Clinton Actually Said About Millennials

Sports

espn: Sources: 76ers' Simmons to have foot surgery

deadspin: What Will Harbaugh Think Of Next?

foxsports: Best photos from the Federated Auto Parts 400 at RIR

autoblog: California approves unmanned self-driving car trials

sports ill.: NBA Mock Draft: Another change at the top

yahoo sports: Firing back: Bosh doesn't believe career is over (Yahoo Sports)

Movies & Music

moviefone: 'War for the Planet of the Apes' Synopsis Promises 'Epic Battle'

apple trailers: Trolls - Clip

slashfilm: The Walking Dead TV Series Ending Will Be Different From The Comic Book

firstshowing: Watch: First Two Trailers for Russian Alien Arrival Movie 'Attraction'

tmz: Desean Jackson -- Protesting Police Killings ... With Custom Cleats

ew: GoDaddy pulls Super Bowl ad animal rights activists called 'cruel and irresponsible'

defamer: Let's Crack Open the "TMZ Vault"

screenrant: Hugh Jackman Gives Bryan Singer Custom X-Men Covers by Joe Quesada

stereogum: J Mascis, James Taylor, Grouplove, & More Play Howard Sterns Tribute To The Beatles Revolver

mtv news: Bella Hadid Shares A Sneaky Pic Of Her Starboy(friend)

billboard: Hugh Hefner 'Fine' Amid Reports of Health Scare, Tweets Message to 'Tabloids'

latimes music: Six-year-old boy dies days after South Carolina school shooting

Photos & Comics

reuters photo: Jesus in Philadelphia

wsj photojournal: Starting Over: Hurricane Katrina Evacuees Thrive in Houston

kodak picture: Wednesday, 31 Aug 2016

nyt lens: The Week in Pictures: Sept. 30, 2016

vi.sualize.us: Nishe

petapixel: Shooting a 300-Megapixel Photo: Film vs Digital

500px: A Morning in Italy by Daniel F.

ffffound: BLVCK

xkcd: Rosetta

dilbert: Comic for October 01, 2016

gapingvoid: gratitude precedes happiness

Voices

seth godin: Overdraft protection

kevin kelly: Whats in My Bag? Elon Schoenholz

jason kottke: A quick perspective on how big some things are

chris brogan: Sing the Hell Out of Your Song

anderson cooper: AC360 has a brand new blog!

robert scoble: Spatial Computing: why Tim Cook better worry

jeff jarvis: Change is bullshit

craig newmark: How the White House is Using Tech to Change the Country

michelle malkin: Transparency! IG report: Judicial Watch lost media status, paid higher FOIA fees at request of Jen Psakis...

paul krugman: A General Theory Of Austerity?

h. armstrong: What institutionalized racism looks like inside our system of education

john battelle: I feel terrible about this site.

matt cutts: A brief update

loren feldman: Silenced Poster

mark cuban: Virtual Reality Gave Me My Brain Back

doc searls: @Staples, you can Un faster than that.

jessica hagy: How many more weeks until this election is over?

dave winer: Silos aren't doing us much good

swissmiss: Universe App

d. weinberger: Clinton's tech policy in five tweets

stowe boyd: robhorningreallife: Thats from this post by Alan Jacobs,...

tom peters: Toms Talk on Sirius Radio

Vlogs

mediaite: Gold Star Mom Who Asked Obama About Saying Radical Islam Not Satisfied With His Answer

cnn-video: Autopsy: Sisters had excess water in lungs, brain

videogum: Tips to Help to Train Your Dog

bbc-video: EgyptAir hijack: Man jumps from plane cockpit window

funny or die: Bundt Cake: 3-Second Recipes

reuters-video: Battle for Aleppo

heavy: Trevor Noah, The Daily Show: 5 Fast Facts You Need to Know

liveleak: Guy Swims With 16 Golden Retrievers

diggnation: The Gang Does RSA

breitbart news: Politico: Donald Trump Rallies White Working Class, Bernie Voters with Sharpened Message

tekzilla: Epson Home Cinema 3500 Review, Maltego Finds Hidden Info, 3 Amazing Wearables, Survive Black Friday &...

slate v: This New E. Coli Strain Produces Commercial-Grade Gasoline

motherboard: Texas is Now One-Quarter Wind Powered

twist: E678: Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Edwards Humes on his book Door to Door, the world of...

thisamericanlife: This Week on the Radio: "One Last Thing Before I Go"

ted: Technology hasn't changed love. Here's why | Helen Fisher

clipsyndicate: Florence Hartmann denounces her ICTY detention