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Soon your newborn will be tested for APGAR and gang affiliation Soon your newborn will be tested for APGAR and gang affiliation

What shape is your butt? What shape is your butt?

Cue Yakety Sax Cue Yakety Sax

Yes, gentlemen, the reason no one else is wandering around Florida swamps fighting off crocodiles and...Yes, gentlemen, the reason no one else is wandering around Florida swamps fighting off crocodiles and...

Florida prosecutor insists that he dropped assault charges against Trump's campaign manager based...Florida prosecutor insists that he dropped assault charges against Trump's campaign manager based...

Want to work at Ken Ham's Noah's Ark Park? Well, A) What the fark is wrong with you, and B) You've got to...Want to work at Ken Ham's Noah's Ark Park? Well, A) What the fark is wrong with you, and B) You've got to...

Giant sinkhole opens up in front yard of Des Moines, Iowa home. Make sense that hell would be underneath Iowa Giant sinkhole opens up in front yard of Des Moines, Iowa home. Make sense that hell would be underneath Iowa

Many large U.S. corporations paid zero federal income taxes. Next up - the revelation that all they care...Many large U.S. corporations paid zero federal income taxes. Next up - the revelation that all they care...

"It is an insult to octopuses to continually compare them to humans" "It is an insult to octopuses to continually compare them to humans"

Czech policeman goes to the top of the leaderboard for "Most parked cars hit while driving drunk" Czech policeman goes to the top of the leaderboard for "Most parked cars hit while driving drunk"

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Owl trained to deliver wedding rings crashes headfirst into church window. That's what Harry Potter gets...Owl trained to deliver wedding rings crashes headfirst into church window. That's what Harry Potter gets...

So what would happen if we just started paying poor people for being poor? You know, made it their actual...So what would happen if we just started paying poor people for being poor? You know, made it their actual...

'Sodomite slayer' pastor claims God will make flames shoot out of gay men's buttholes 'Sodomite slayer' pastor claims God will make flames shoot out of gay men's buttholes

Christians "tip" waitress with Bible passage calling for her death. You know, just like Jesus...Christians "tip" waitress with Bible passage calling for her death. You know, just like Jesus...

Fark Store Daily Deal: Cyber Security Hacker Training. My voice is my passport. Verify me. (Sponsored Link) Fark Store Daily Deal: Cyber Security Hacker Training. My voice is my passport. Verify me. (Sponsored Link)

"My husband said, 'look, we've got a visitor' and there he was walking into the house through the..."My husband said, 'look, we've got a visitor' and there he was walking into the house through the...

The Donald Trump of newspapers endorses the New York Post of candidates The Donald Trump of newspapers endorses the New York Post of candidates

Photoshop this dog day afternoon Photoshop this dog day afternoon

Chicago Alderman says leave urban coyotes alone, let them take care of the rats Chicago Alderman says leave urban coyotes alone, let them take care of the rats

'Napalm Girl' was haunted by the image of herself and the Vietnam War for years, but now embraces it 'Napalm Girl' was haunted by the image of herself and the Vietnam War for years, but now embraces it

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Quickies

News & Magazines

salon: We looked at Trumps Twitter interactions for more than a year. A lot of them are suspicious.

morning news: Karl Ove Knausgrd tells his newborn what makes life worth living.

good magazine: J.K. Rowling Roasts Trump For His Latest ‘Unbelievable’ Achievement

findingdulcinea: On This Day: Ford Model T Unveiled

yahoo upshot: Total solar eclipse 2017: What time and where is it, plus how to watch in UK

google spotlight: Saudi Arabia's missing princes - BBC News

new yorker: A Memoir about Being a Black Gentrifier in Bed-Stuy

observer: Yayoi Kusama Museum to Open in Tokyo

slate: Are the Charlottesville White Supremacists Really Nazis?

time: After a Punishing Week, Trump Hopes to Redirect Attention With an Address on Afghanistan

pbs newshour: Survivors recount atrocities of ISIS occupation in Mosul

upi: On This Day: Cameroon lake releases gas killing more than 1,700

life: The World-Changing Evolution of Princess Diana

groundreport: What Googles Mobile First Update Means for Your Marketing Strategy

npr: BP Investors' Fears Grow They Could Lose Dividend

blog herald: 5 Steps to Successfully Transition from a Blog to an Online Store

Politics

nytimes politics: Lobbyist at Trump Campaign Meeting Has a Web of Russian Connections

white house: Presidential Advisory Commission on Election Integrity

tpm: Trump: White Nationalist or in his Second Childhood -- A Response

daily kos: Open thread for night owls: Trump disbands National Climate Assessment panel

wonkette: Deleted Comments: You Mental Midgets Cant Write A Headline Without FUCK or NAZI! LOL

fivethirtyeight: The White House Is Not a Metronome

realclearp.: Why We Must Challenge China on Trade

new republic: The Left Cant Rely on Boycotts Alone

Business & Finance

wsj: Jerry Lewis, Legendary Comedian, Dies at 91

forbes: Myanmar: Facing Up To Bureaucratic Bribery

walletpop: 3 CNN staffers are out over retracted Russia investigation story

businessinsider: Chinese investment in London property is booming despite Brexit (CBG, DLN)

thestreet: Hershey Rejects $23 Billion Acquisition Offer From Mondelez

freakonomics: How to Become Great at Just About Anything (Rebroadcast)

harvard business: How Senior Executives Stay Passionate About Their Work

fast company: Here’s proof (from 1988!) that Apple leaks are nothing new

seekingalpha: Great Wall sets sights on FCA

Tech

techcrunch: HTC drops price of Vive by $200 as it looks to compete with Facebooks aggressive VR pricing

readwriteweb: This smart grid program could save millions of tons of CO2 annually

oreilly radar: Four short links: 18 August 2017

tnw: Xiaomi is reportedly working with Google on the next Android One phone

alley insider: 10 things in tech you need to know today (MSFT, FB, GOOG, SNAP, T, AAPL)

arstechnica: Intel first 8th generation processors are just updated 7th generation chips

wininsider: Get Ready for Windows 7 'Release Candidate'

nytimes bits: Daily Report: A Net Neutrality Setback for Facebook in India

twit: This Week in Tech 628: Trash Analytics

techmeme: HTC cuts Vive VR headset's price by $200, to $599, to remain competitive with Oculus Rift (Jon...

recode: Full transcript: Security expert Tony Gambacorta on Too Embarrassed to Ask

inquisitr: No, Iceland Isnt Requiring The Killing Of Unborn Babies With Down Syndrome [Debunked]

mashable: A Tesla Model X raced a Lamborghini Aventador, guess which car won

macrumors: Here's What the iPhone 8 With Edge-to-Edge Display Looks Like in a Case

intomobile: iPhone No Sound: Tips on How to Fix this Common Issue

techradar: You can now get your breaking news on YouTube

Offbeat

theawl: New York City, August 17, 2017

oddee: 7 Forgotten, But Beloved, Nickelodeon Programming Blocks

time feed: 5 Songs You Need to Listen to This Week

cracked: 5 Flat-Out Wrong Things About Religions You Probably Believe

laughingsquid: How Many Times the Hands of an Analogue Clock Overlap With Each Other In 12 Hours

newslite: Sloth drops from tree into speed boat (VIDEO)

failblog: 23 Times Trying to be Sexy Resulted in Cringe Inducing Failure

perezhilton: Kate Major Held On Involuntary Psych Evaluation After Calling Police To File False Kidnapping Report...

hotair: Colorado man stabbed for having Nazi haircut

daily beast: As His Popularity Wanes Away, Could Prince Charles Be The Last King?

stupidvideos: Goodbye For Now, Everyone

collegehumor: Your Favorite Shameful Flavors As Chips!

google sights.: Undiscovered Hawaii: Lanai, Kahoolawe, and Niihau

urbandictionary: Napstipated

atlantic wire: The 'Only' Profession to 'Celebrate What It Means to Live a Life'

icanhascheezburger: Hear The Mighty Kitten Roar!

Science

national geo.: It's Now Legal to Sell Rhino Horn in South Africa. The World's Top Breeder Makes His Move.

brainpickings: The Creative Tension Between Vitality and Fatality: Illuminating the Mystery of Sylvia Plath Through Her...

discover: Here's what tomorrow's total eclipse would look like if you could watch it from a million miles away in space

pop mechanics: 10 Surprising Facts About American Muscle Cars

instructables: The MacGyver Bat Tumbler (Make a Crime Fighting Vehicle Out of Junk and Readily Available Items.)

eduwonk: Cell Phones

sci. american: Letters From the World of Turtle Evolution

mentalfloss: Is Texting Painful? Doctors Say Smartphone Thumb Is On the Rise

guardian science: Boom - a semi-scientific tale of fish, sex and the end of the world review

5min.com: Alleged 'tampering' by Lakers under investigation

sciencedaily: Energized fabrics could keep soldiers warm and battle-ready in frigid climates

fastcolabs: Here’s proof (from 1988!) that Apple leaks are nothing new

popsci: Permanently delete files from any device

wired science: Spoil Your Dad This Fathers Day With These 15 Great Gifts

Green

treehugger: Scientists says there will be an eclipse. Why should we believe them?

worldchanging: The New Worldchanging Is Coming

ecosalon: 4 Beauty Looks in 1 Video [Video]

env. leader: While Consumers Shout, Biz Quietly Improves Management of Munchies

grist: Companies are turning ocean trash into running shoes and sunglasses

inhabitat: Score one of 4 Voltaic Converter solar backpacks in Inhabitats Back to School Contest

mnn: 100-million-year old flowers found perfectly preserved in amber

Gadgets

engadget: HTC cuts the Vive VR headset's price to $599

uncrate: Sherman Residence

gizmodo: Instagram Won't Stop Showing Me the Mother's Day Photos I Don't Want to See

mobilecrunch: Google needs to pay Apple a small fortune to remain the default search engine on iOS

cooltools: Kurzgesagt/Hvper/Steelcase Gesture Chair

unplggd: This May Be the Filthiest Thing in Your HomeAnd You Never Clean It

polygon: HTC Vive VR headset gets $200 price cut

notcot: Mr. Pip's Double Cross - "a dice game so...

consumerist: Heres A Giant List Of Solar Eclipse Promotions

joystiq: HTC cuts the Vive VR headset's price to $599

crunchgear: Lets review some of techs big second quarter financial stories

kotaku: Tips For Playing Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows of Valentia

ohgizmo: Know How To Write? Were Hiring

huffpost food: The Pastis Fairytale Islands

Design

psfk: How Tehran’s Answer To Uber Is Changing The Way People Travel And Live

smashingmagazine: Web Development Reading List: Announcing Changes, A Design Kit, DNA Malware, And Why Meaning Is An Advantage

designspotter: Indiecon The Independent Magazine Festival

core77: Klein HVAC 8-in-1 Hex Head Slide Driver

coudal: The Scofflaw

flavorwire: The 10 Best Heists in Movie History

weburbanist: 8-Bitten: Space Invaders Street Art Tells Tile Tales

wmmna: Trust Me Im an Artist. Ethics surrounding art & science collaborations (part 2)

archdaily: Sebastian Weiss Reveals The Public Personalities of French Landmarks in Paris, Nanterre and Arcueil

colourlovers: Color Inspiration in Cake: A Rainbow Array of Birthday Confections

thefwa: The Magic Wallpaper

Work & Life

dumblittleman: The Absurd Hero: An Inspiration In Overcoming Challenges

productivity501: What Is Your Current Work Zone?

unclutterer: Options for upcycling clothes

nytimes health: In Tennessee, Promoting Enrollment in Tenuous Health Care Plans

zenhabits: How to Get Back on Track with Motivation & Habits

well: Women of Sex Tech, Unite

fitsugar: I Never Lift Weights With Shoes on, and Here's the Important Reason

cntraveler: Inside Spain's Most Colorful Festival, the Feria de Abril

Women

glamour: 'Game of Thrones' Season 7 Episode 6 Recap: A Major Fan Theory About Daenerys' Dragons Was Just Confirmed

ladylux: Learn to Let Go and Relax on Vacation

blogher: 7 Simple SEO Hacks for Non-Techie Bloggers

gofugyourself: Fugs and Pieces, August 18th, 2017

jezebel: No One Was Shading Cam Newton for Wearing a Male Romper, and Some Other Thoughts on Rompers

Men

artofmanliness: 5 Willpower Habits Every Man Should Develop

gm gadgets: Renovo Coupe The Disrupting Electric Supercar

mens health: Rev Your Metabolism With This Full-Body Car Workout

gq: 'Game of Thrones' Season 7 Episode 6 Recap: Anyone Who Isn't Us Is an Enemy

Sports

espn: Rookie Kamara forces his way into Saints' backfield

deadspin: Tim Tebow Exhibits That Old NFL Accuracy, Hits Fan In Dick And Balls With Throw

foxsports: New Orleans rookie Kamara breaks 50-yard touchdown on Saints first play from scrimmage

autoblog: 2017 Pebble Beach Concept Car Lawn: A unique chance to see concepts in one place

sports ill.: NBA Mock Draft: Another change at the top

yahoo sports: What Mayweather's about to risk for boxing (Yahoo Sports)

Movies & Music

moviefone: Watch 'Game of Thrones' Season 7 Finale Promo: Cersei Meets Jon & Team Dany

apple trailers: Fun Mom Dinner - Clip

slashfilm: Kingsman: The Golden Circle TV Spot Explains the Meaning Behind the Title

firstshowing: 'Greatest Movie Promo Ever' + 'Kingsman: The Golden Circle' TV Spot

tmz: Floyd Mayweather Angrily Breaks With Justin Bieber after Instagram Diss

ew: Game of Thrones season 7 finale preview reveals epic reunion scene

screenrant: Rick and Morty: The Whirly Dirly Conspiracy Review & Discussion

stereogum: Watch Radioheads Thom Yorke & Jonny Greenwood Play A Rare Duo Set At Italian Earthquake Benefit Show

mtv news: Should Scott And His Teen Wolf Pack Leave Beacon Hills?

billboard: How Does Luis Fonsi Savor His 'Despacito' Success? Slowly

latimes music: Spanish officials confirm the identity of suspect at large after Barcelona attacks

Photos & Comics

wsj photojournal: Starting Over: Hurricane Katrina Evacuees Thrive in Houston

kodak picture: Wednesday, 31 Aug 2016

nyt lens: The Faces of Bigotry: When the Hoods Come Off

petapixel: Ep. 204: Why It Might Be Pointless to Watermark Your Photos and more

500px: Degrees by Ole Henrik Skjelstad

ffffound: tumblr_l4qiipn4Ur1qz6f9yo1_500.jpg (Image JPEG, 480x389 pixels)

xkcd: Eclipse Birds

dilbert: Comic for August 21, 2017

gapingvoid: Grown up, growing up

Voices

seth godin: Preparing (for the test of time)

kevin kelly: Brad Templeton, Futurist

jason kottke: Walter Cronkite reports on the 1979 solar eclipse

steve rubel: Essaypro.com review

chris brogan: Your Customers Dont Want You To Act Like a Robot

anderson cooper: AC360 has a brand new blog!

robert scoble: Apples glasses rumors as seen by a guy who wore Google Glass for a year (and in the shower too)

jeff jarvis: Our problem isnt fake news. Our problems are trust and manipulation.

craig newmark: How I Went From Fashionista to Veteran Advocate

michelle malkin: Heres how to view the eclipse through SJW-tinted glasses (open thread)

paul krugman: The Political Failure of Trickle-Down Economics

john battelle: No. Social Terrorists Will Not Win

matt cutts: Staying with the US Digital Service

loren feldman: Maccabee Teaser

mark cuban: Some Thoughts on Fixing Obamacare Shoot Holes in this Please

doc searls: What happened to nonviolence?

jessica hagy: What happens behind the scenes matters more.

dave winer: MLK is the best icon for America 2.0. The United States, rebooted.

swissmiss: Double Rainbow Plate

d. weinberger: Journalism, mistrust, transparency

stowe boyd: The Widow | W. S. Merwin

tom peters: Dignity Health

Vlogs

mediaite: John Oliver to Melissa Francis: If You Hate Being Judged For Defending Trump, Stop F**king Doing It!

cnn-video: Search on for missing USS John Mccain sailors

videogum: Stopping Puppy Chewing - Different Techniques to Control the Chewing

bbc-video: EgyptAir hijack: Man jumps from plane cockpit window

funny or die: Overly Excited Tourist Goes Wild In San Francisco

reuters-video: Comedian Jerry Lewis dies at 91

heavy: Andrew Santino: 5 Fast Facts You Need to Know

liveleak: Girl shits all over the bed at a cheap hotel

breitbart news: Source: McMaster Fails to Brief Trump Before Thats Too Bad Error

slate v: This New E. Coli Strain Produces Commercial-Grade Gasoline

motherboard: Texas is Now One-Quarter Wind Powered

twist: E755: News Roundtable! Ari Levy (CNBC) & Dave Mathews (NewAer): Trumps disbanded panels, Cloudflare...

thisamericanlife: This Week on the Radio: "We Are in the Future"

ted: The secret to living longer may be your social life | Susan Pinker

clipsyndicate: Florence Hartmann denounces her ICTY detention